Pray, Hope and Don't Worry

Dear Family and Friends,

Pray, Hope and Don't Worry was a quote my Dad cherished and he is now in Heaven.

Thank you for following my Dad's blog over the past year where he expressed his thoughts and greatest passions as he went through his journey to the inevitable. As my brother-in-law Tim put it, he showed us how to battle this terrible disease with grace and dignity- not different than he has led his entire life. He led by example to the very end with his mind as sharp as ever. One of the last and most special days for my Dad and I was writing my Mom's 65th Birthday card together and he presenting her with a beautiful crucifix with hearts to wear as a reminder of his love. He signed it, I love you now and forever.

I have included his obituary to share with all of you.

Dr. Gary Michael DeLoia, age 66, died on Thursday, November 15th, 2012, in Duluth, from complications of leukemia.


A resident of Duluth for most of his life, Gary was raised near Pike Lake by parents Joe and Lorraine DeLoia. He graduated from Proctor High School in 1963, and from the University of Minnesota School of Dentistry in 1969.

Gary was a patriotic person, and joined the United States Army stationed at Fort Hood, Texas, and the Republic of Vietnam. After military service, he established a dental practice in Duluth with Dr. Robert Ryan, and later became an associate at Lake Superior Dental. He practiced dentistry for 42 years and was an advocate for continuing dental education and preventative dentistry. Gary lived with an innate sense of empathy for those less fortunate in his community and in other parts of the world. He had a strong desire for volunteerism, which included dental missions within Vietnam, and later missions in Israel, St. Vincent, and Cambodia.

A parishioner of the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Rosary since 1972, Gary was a member of the Holy Rosary School Board, also serving as chairman for one year. He served on the boards of Port Area Catholic Education, and St. Mary's Hospital. He was also a member of the American Dental Association, the Minnesota Dental Association, and the Northeastern District Dental Society.

Gary had many hobbies, and most were centered around the outdoors. He cherished the times shared with his dogs. He also enjoyed enhancing the natural beauty of his surroundings.

Self-described as a Catholic American father, Gary was most proud of his family, his faith, and his military service. He also took pride in his work, and fully appreciated the many wonderful friendships he made with his patients and coworkers. He was amazed by the outpouring of kindness bestowed upon him throughout his illness, and was immensely appreciative of the care he received from so many exceptional doctors and caregivers. Most of all, he was grateful to have been able to confront his illness in an honest and accepting way with the loving support of his wife, Linda. Together they shared a full and beautiful life.


Gary is survived by his wife of 44 years, Linda (Laase) DeLoia; parents Joseph and Lorraine DeLoia; in-laws John and Myrtle Laase; daughters Allison (Timothy) Johanson and Kimber DeLoia; son Matthew (Jennifer) DeLoia; grandchildren Adelaide, August, Erik, and Tomas Johanson, and Giselle and Glenn DeLoia; brothers Thomas (Gail) DeLoia and Jeffrey (Karen) DeLoia; sisters Halene (Paul) von Wiegandt and Betsy (Steven) Godmare, and his nieces and nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins, and many friends who enriched his life immeasurably.



VISITATION: Sunday, November 18th from 4pm-6pm at Our Lady of the Rosary Catholic Church, 2801 E. 4th St., Duluth

FUNERAL MASS: Monday, November 19th, at 11am at Our Lady of the Rosary Catholic Church

BURIAL: Tuesday, November 20th at 1pm at Fort Snelling National Cemetery, 7601 34th Ave South, Minneapolis

Memorials preferred to Holy Rosary Catholic School, 2802 E. 4th St., Duluth, MN 55812 or Solvay Hospice House, 801 Baylis St., Duluth, MN 55811.

Pallbearers Deliver the Casket for Honors at Fort Snelling

Placing a Lily on the Casket

Family and Friends Share in a Final Goodbye

Presentation of the American Flag on Behalf of a Grateful Nation

Viewing the Burial Site, plot #394, Fort Snelling, Minnesota

A Veteran’s Fall to Remember

I have used this blog as a form of therapy to compliment the wonderful care received throughout my battle with leukemia.  This forum has been my opportunity to share with you and engage in some helpful and distracting mental exercises.  I have been reluctant to describe the progression of my disease in the hope, that one day, it would be reversed and placed in remission.  Unfortunately, my disease is uncommon, brutal, and almost never cured.   

Throughout this Fall, I have been fortuned with sufficient comfort and energy to remain active and engage with friends and family in fairly routine ways.  This included many dinners with Linda and friends, long walks around my home, and hunting trips to North Dakota and Red Lake (Fall Hunting Video with Friends).  It has also included the business of placing things in order for my family.  So many have over-extended themselves to help Linda and me in this difficult time. We could not be luckier.

The grim details of my disease I recently articulated to the Veteran’s Administration.  The association between leukemias and the defoliant Agent Orange is well documented and therefore a seemingly just reason for disability benefits.  In pursuit of these benefits I wrote the following about my disease:  

“I have a diagnosis of chronic myelomonocytic leukemia (CMML), transformed to acute myeloid leukemia (AML) with complications of extramedullary disease.  My treatment included three rounds of chemotherapy that have all failed due to the presence of many soft tissue cancers called granulocytic sarcoma.  These have occurred in my sinus, testes and most significantly, my skin.  My current treatment consists of oral chemotherapy and various radiation techniques to palliate these symptoms of pain, weakness and visual disturbances.

When in Vietnam during 1970-71, my station or area of operation was a firebase in Phuc Long province.  We also went on many occasions to foreground landing zones and villages for volunteer medical/dental missions.  My main position was as the dentist for a medical company in the 1^st Cavalry Division localized near the town of Song Be. This area was one of the most heavily defoliated areas in the country.  Additionally, we were sprayed biweekly with insecticides for mosquito control.  Even so, we were ordered to take anti-malaria prophylaxis with Chloroquine/Primiquine tablets once a week along with Dapsone daily until my physician friends found literature linking Dapsone use to agranulocytosis.  We did continue the Chloroquine/Primiquine tablets all along, in spite of the inevitable diarrhea they caused. 

The list of veterans’ diseases associated with Agent Orange includes things like various leukemias, Hodgkin’s disease, diabetes, prostate cancer and many others.  These are included by way of epidemiology and mathematical statistics to show increased rates, however so tenuous, in Vietnam veterans with Agent Orange exposure.”

I volunteered into the Army in 1969 to do my very best and serve my country.  When assigned to a medical company on a totally defoliated firebase, I went without hesitation and was given many compliments by my superiors, including the Bronze Star for service.  I hope that the VA will approve my claim, which I believe is warranted given the now-known hazards exposed to the U.S. military assigned to the Republic of Vietnam.

This Veteran’s weekend, family and friends surround me.  I thank everyone, and am humbled by those who have traveled great distances to visit with Linda and me.  Kimber is on her way and I will have all my kids with me tonight.  I hope to share with you more in the coming week.  Sincerely and with love, Gary.

With Friends in North Dakota

Friends,
It is very obvious that in order to write an interesting blog you need to be in a good mood or there is a high risk of seeming overly dark. Over the last few months there are times when it is hard to avoid the depression. Linda and I have been extremely lucky to have so many of our family and our friends give us such a measure of caring and support that we feel blessed and positive most all of the time. To be honest we have experienced some low days as well.

For a period of about two weeks we had the company of lots of family including all of my brothers and sisters. Every day was a joy for us all and the gang helped move my mom up to an new apartment (Westwood) near my dad in the Benedictine Health Center. Now she can walk over to visit any time she wants to, which is plenty. I got out of most of the work by going hunting in N.D. with seven  of my best friends including my brother Tom and my son Matt. We had a great time out there in oil country as we saw plenty of birds (which we cooked) and had a nice new motel to stay at. North Dakota is filled with so many wonderful and welcoming people, just like Minnesota. My new puppy, Sammy, enjoyed the experience as well and said she would try it again if weather permits. That means any weather, rain or snow included.

Kimber and Allison both came up to spend a long weekend with us and it was both relaxing and therapeutic for all of us. Kimber helps us to organize our finances and other affairs and Allison helps Linda with some artistic touches for our home. I also need to say that Linda and I celebrated our 44 years of marriage with family all around. We received lots of accolades, at least Linda did, for being an example of a loving family anchored by a solid marriage for so long a time. It is something to be proud of and in all humility we are.
Allison gave us this card made on her iMac.

The Years

Like a beaded bracelet,

You wear your collection of years.

They are what make your lives together, 

Whole and beautiful.

So lovely and strong as one,

We celebrate your shared life.

Years full of countless memories,

To connect us always.

                Allison

 

Grandma's 93rd Birthday

I wanted to post a quick blog with a picture of my Dad, Aunt Betsty, and Grandma on her 93rd Birthday. I was just home a few weeks ago with the whole family. We had such a nice time being together and so special to be home in Duluth. We were able to go fishing and help my Dad train Sammy. I sure do feel fortunate to have such a wonderful family. Love, Kimber

Il Camposanto (secondo)

The Old Oak Tree

Built in 1862

I suppose it seems a little odd to use Italian to describe something so Scandinavian, but the Tuscan vernacular is so appealing. Linda and I have always enjoyed traveling the back roads when we have the time as you often find such beauty and interest off of the beaten path. A couple of weeks ago while on one of our forays into the farm country we found this scene just southeast of Northfield, near the town of Nerstrand. It seemed to be one of the most beautiful and pastoral settings we have ever seen in Minnesota. There are actually two churches faced directly opposing one another and the one pictured was built in 1862 during the Civil War and the U.S.-Dakota war of 1862, which began 150 years ago yesterday. Obviously there were some very ambitious and reverent people living in Southeastern Minnesota at that time in our history.

These discoveries as we travel around bring some measure of peace to us while we deal with all the days of medical care and the inconveniences that can really wear you down. Seeing the lush farmland on the rolling hills of this part of Minnesota along with the occasional spectacular setting can't help but be inspiring for anyone needing a lift. Driving into Duluth and seeing the Big Lake is also very uplifting.

Again,

Gary and Linda

Terra Incognita

Dear Friends,

Whenever we enter into "unknown lands" it is natural to consider this a kind of adventure. It is really quite impossible to know exactly what you will find. The intelligent person does adequate research to increase the chances of success, but we all know too well that there will be many obstacles and delays. Take the example of Sir Ernest Shackelton or Sir Edmund Hillary. Due to their various styles of leadership both were successful in that they made it back alive to tell their stories. More modest adventures abound all around such as canoeing to the Arctic, marathoning or even learning to play Bridge.

Sometimes adventure comes to us without our having asked for it. Whether you join the military or are conscripted the result is the same; you enter a "Land of Dragons" so to say. Personally, I think we all need adventure in our lives, but not to be foolish in the endeavor because we want a long long life as God should desire.

Linda and I did not ask for this trip and we are in it together whatever it takes. Again, we took adequate time to choose our health care facilities carefully. Now we both feel trust and confidence in the direction we are given. So now we try to the best of our abilities to do our part and let God do the rest.

I am very sure both Shackelton and Hillary spoke to Him daily. So does Robin Roberts and so do Gary and Linda DeLoia.
My best, Thank you for reading my blog.
Rochester Methodist Hospital

Summer in Duluth

We had a very nice two weeks in Duluth, warm weather and the grass is green. We returned home to find everything in good order due to the help of some fine friends. We enjoyed visiting many of our friends and catching up on the current events. For me, I was able to work with Sammy many times and she was almost always with me. We even got out fishing and to our surprise we caught some nice lake trout, even though Lake Superior is still kind of muddy from the big storm. Linda learned to mow with the big rider as I was told to stay away from dust, dirt, live plants and machines. Anyway we did it together in a sense. Got to keep the place nice just to stay contented.
Tomorrow we are going to Rochester for some appointments and possibly more treatment. I am feeling good with fairly good energy, but my actions are a little slow. Linda is packing my bag for the trip. I guess she'll come with.

Leaving Rochester

Sammy

Sammy In Training

Gary

NBA PREDICTABILITY

MONDAY After my morning appointment at Mayo Clinic, Linda and I drove up to St.Paul to spend the afternoon with Allison and her family. This helps restore some sense of a normal day to our routine. Rochester is a nice town surrounded by very well kept farmland, a growing community with a lot of health care workers, unless they work for IBM. This is all well and good, but even someone with an even personality like me might go a little nuts after a time. As to my physical health it might be best to describe it on a "scale of one to ten". I learned this from my nurses. Are you having any pain? Yes, I have a headache. Can you describe your headache? Well, I've had worse. Can you put a number on it? I guess it's not that bad after all. I was always good with numbers, but ambiguity is a problem for me. Honestly, the care we are receiving is excellent, the nurses are terrific as you might expect. It would be nice to draw a path for my ongoing treatment, yet that is like predicting the NBA finals. If you have paid attention to the series then you know what I mean. Just when you think you have a plan it changes. Sunday morning Linda and I went to Mass, not at the same time as we could not plan even that. This is a good day. Peace to you all, Gary

Update on Dad

Hello friends and family, I wanted to give an update on the past week. After my dad's chemo he was able to leave the hospital and go back to the hotel with my mom for a week. They enjoyed sitting at the church gardens and going on walks each day. The Kinneys came to visit who is a dental school friend of his and Toni and Ann spent a day visiting as well. Tuesday he was put back in the hospital to treat an infection which tends to happen when a person has neutropenia which means no immune system. He is feeling much better today and more like himself. I am not sure when he will leave the hospital but probably in the next few days. He will meet with his doctor in two weeks to decide the next course of treatment. My mom is going on her daily walks and her sister Brenda spent today with them and is staying the night with my mom. Love, Kimber

Rochester Mayo

Dear Friends and Family,

I wanted to write a quick post to send an update on my Dad. He is almost done with his first week of treatment at Methodist Hospital at Mayo. He has had very little side affects if any, although they say that may come in week two. His chemo stops tomorrow and then he will remain in the hospital for another week while his body recovers and blood counts are healthy enough to leave the hospital. Things tend to change so we will see what the next few weeks bring. My mom has a nice extended stay hotel to stay in which is just a block away. She has been giving our guests a tour of her favorite restaurants and her favorite hotels in Rochester. Everything is within about 6 blocks so it's a quick tour (although I have been on it about 3 times so I sometimes feel like it is groundshog day :)). My dad has been in pretty good spirits and chatting it up with the nurses, doctors, and patients. He just hangs out in the community room hoping for someone to join him in conversation or suggest some good book authors as they are about to read their own book. We go for walks each day and his only rule is that he can't leave the 7th floor. Fortunately for him the 7th floor stretches through all the Mayo Buildings so we can get pretty far on the 7th floor. We have had quite a few visitors already which has been so nice for all of us. Micki Bell spent a few days here before I came which was wonderful for my mom as she got settled here. Saturday my 3 friends from college Patty, Erin, and Sarah came to visit with my cousin Janel. Bob and Maureen Ryan were here as well to have lunch with my mom and dad. Allison got here on Sunday and stayed until today which was great and we were able to go to my mom's favorite restaurant with her. It was a special dinner. Then today my aunt Betsy and Steve and Nancy and Joe came for lunch. We are hoping they don't kick my dad out for his excessive partying and guests.
All and all things are going pretty well considering his situation. We all hope and pray his treatment gets him healthy so we can continue this party at home in Duluth.
His address at the hospital is: Rochester Methodist Hospital, 201 West Center Street, Room #7-421, Rochester, MN 55905 

Love, Kimber

io non c'e`male

At least I don't feel sick lately. When someone asks you how are you today, most people say fine, great, not bad or some other comment that no one really is listening to anyway. Lately when people ask me they actually want to know, so I tell the truth; "I'm really feeling pretty good." This in spite of the medicine and the side effects are not that profound as yet.
Sammy has been a lot of fun to train as we are making progress every day. She now loves the water and will take a retrieve as far as I can throw. My dad would say that these animals are gifts from God and we should be careful not to ruin the instincts they came with. Working with dogs and nature is such a pleasure for me, so we will just have to put it on hold for a while.
Tomorrow, Linda and I are going to Mayo again with the expectation that they will hospitalize me for a course of chemo therapy and a hopeful remission. Linda will stay in a room in Rochester close to the hospital and when I get a little better we can share the place for a while until the Doctors are agreeing to let us go back to Duluth.
My friend, Father Lepak sent me a note saying that he would pray for us and we hope you will too.
Gary

How do you know when you love someone?

One of the obvious ways is that you like to be close to that person. You like to do things together and gradually your hobbies and interests commingle For Linda and me it has been easy because we like to do a lot of the same things. Just yesterday we spent time in our yard getting ready for spring and trying to make things nicer around the house. For me it is necessary to call over Linda to inspect and give  her approval for what has just been done or to discuss my next idea which might not be good. This gives us a sense of accomplishment, pleasure and closeness.
We have had some times of separation that certainly did not diminish our love, but it was always apparent that something was missing. The first of these was when my country asked me to go to Vietnam. These deployments were almost always for 12 months or more. This is hard to envision for a young newly married couple. We didn't ask to do this, but it was our duty to comply with the requested assignment.
Well I can tell you that we both felt our bouts of loneliness and there is always present a kind of melancholy. You do your work and live your life with just a little less of something. These pictures show a young man and woman who have not been with their loved one for 10 months or so. One is in Southeast Asia and one is in Minnesota. They love each other. They miss each other. They want to be together.

 How could we expect anything but subdued smiles that demonstrate this couples longing

Mai piu cosi lontano 

Now we face a separation of sorts that we certainly did not ask for. This challenge is far more difficult and unpredictable but our love for one another is strong. Linda will help me through it with the gentle hand of God. We have many friends and family to help us too. My Mother is certain that I'll be OK and she knows because she prays to God every day for sure. She also loves Linda like a daughter and is praying for her welfare too.

Tomorrow or Tuesday I'll be in St. Mary's hospital in Rochester for a while to get more aggressive with the disease. I have every confidence that we are doing the right thing and I too pray for my return to health.

The love of my life is close to me now and gives me encouragement every day. 

At least this time our separation will be only a few blocks or a few miles. But again it is too far.

GARY

St. Simons Island, Georgia

Our gang of travelers just finished a week in a very special house in St. Simons Island. As mentioned in a previous blog we have been doing something together every year for over forty years. This time we took up in a historic home that once was a "carriage house" connected to a larger mansion that has been since moved to Daufuskie Island in South Carolina. This turned out to be perfect as it was a short walk to the beach and a short walk to the village. Most of us were content to do very little, so other than some sightseeing and golf for a few we mostly read, played dominoes and had fabulous meals that we (in my case "they") prepared every day except one where we walked to town for dinner.
Not many midwestern people talk about Georgia as a vacation area, but I can say that these barrier islands are very beautiful and comfortable with nice weather and friendly people. St. Simons is just a seventy mile drive from Jacksonville airport or smaller airports even closer. Anyway, Linda and I are very happy to have gotten away for the week and we enjoyed every minute with our friends and each other.
Happy Birthday to my Aunt Betty who just turned 90.

My Doctor said "eat"

Standing in the Live Oak Trees

Barrier Islands Have Nice Bridges

Sammy

People have been asking about Sammy; how is she doing, is she getting big, etc. Well, she is growing and starting to demonstrate a personality that I think I can count on not to change too much now. Her behavior in the house is excellent, outside might be another story. I use a long lead to keep her in check or she might visit the next County. Actually she is quite well disciplined at almost all times, with the emphasis on "almost". We are both very happy to have this dog as she has been a nice diversion, and even Linda likes being around her a lot. By the way she does retrieve so I'm having that kind of fun too, but behavior is the most important thing at this age. The word is that teaching a Black Lab to retrieve is like teaching a kid to eat ice cream.
Linda and I are heading to St. Simons Island this Saturday to spend the week with some friends that we have been tolerating for about 40 years or longer. We have rented a large house near the beach and we always have a good time. My Dr. gave me the go ahead and so we are taking advantage of a lull in my treatment regimen. Anyway, Tom Dougherty brings enough wine as to be considered a form of treatment in itself. Really, we are quite prudent in our grown up years. Maybe we will overdose on books, dominoes and excellent home cooking.

Sammy at Attention

Gary and Linda

Anniversary Number 70

Linda's parents celebrated today their 70th wedding anniversary in Cambridge, Minnesota. Now that is quite a feat these days. First you have to get married with a promise to be faithful and to stick together through thick and thin, sometimes more thin than thick. I've never known a couple that has done so many things together through out their lives. First there was the few years in California when Huns was in the Navy and Myrt was close by. After the war they moved to Cambridge where they bought the farm and there was now a need to work together to make it all successful. This they did from the farming, gardening, cleaning chickens and other animals for food, the constant cleaning and cooking for a farm family that needed a lot of food for all the expended energy. Believe me, I've seen this family at work and they know to get a lot done in a day. I guess it was necessary in the early days, but they cannot change. First you work and then you play, that is if the time ever allows it.
Now of course Huns and Myrt are retired, yet they stay very active. They take care of themselves for the most part and find time for card playing and even dancing. It's a good thing Great Grandma Thorn didn't find out about this decadence. Huns isn't supposed to drive (Dr's orders) and for the most part he doesn't except when there is some difficult terrain to negotiate, then Myrt will relinquish the wheel to her husband.
I didn't go to the party as crowds can carry an increased risk of catching a cold or something else I don't now need.

 

I did have a long conversation with Myrt the other day, (long by my standards). Her memory is perfect, in fact Myrt can remember things as if they happened yesterday. And she can also get the most subtle humor that older persons often miss. Huns doesn't like to talk on the phone because his hearing isn't too good and so we just talk to Myrt and she relays the thought. I made a point of thanking them for having a daughter that is now my wife of 43 years. They know of course how much I love her and how lately we have to rely on and support one another even more than ever. To deal with a serious illness with out the loving care of someone close must be very difficult. I am thankful for the gift of this terrific person, born in Princeton, MN, the beautiful daughter of Myrtle and John Laase.

Jerry, David, Dale, Linda, Myrt, Huns, Brenda

IN THE MOOD FOR AN UPDATE

Obviously, I have been behind in my posts to this blog and some have been gently nudging me to give at least an update of my medical condition. Some people have to get in the proper mood to do certain things and I am definitely one of these people. This is a nice communication tool, this thing we call a BLOG. Where did that word come from?


A blog (a portmanteau of the term web log)^[1] is a personaljournal published on the World Wide Web consisting of discrete entries ("posts") typically displayed in reverse chronological order so the most recent post appears first. Blogs are usually the work of a single individual, occasionally of a small group, and often are themed on a single subject.


Today I'm feeling good, just working on a tax problem related to my HSA account. I also did some work with Sammy attempting to teach her a few things. My Dad said all dogs are different and this one has a personality that we are still trying to figure out. Tommy and Erik have spent the last two nights with us as we brought them back on our return from Rochester. We will go to Allison's tomorrow and celebrate Easter with her family just for the day. 
As to my condition, my Doctors think we should take a break from the chemotherapy in order for my bone marrow to recover a little. When your marrow is so depressed the risk of infection becomes paramount. This shows that although the therapy is working, there is definitely a need for more treatment when the time is right. For now we are just staying close to home trying to stay healthy. 
We have had so many wonderful gestures of support from both family and friends. These are very meaningful and appreciated by Linda and me immensely . Just by reading this blog you are showing your concern for our family.
Soon another more interesting blog will be posted if the mood comes my way again. It will. Actually I know of at least three English teachers that read this thing and it leaves me a little intimidated. 

We asked for Winter

Dear Friends,
Well the snow finally came to the North Shore community. We have cleared our drive and walks three times in a few days. It appears as if 12 inches came down yesterday and today so we are happy enough.
The snowshoeing has been terrific on our trails and especially on the Sucker River. We are always surprised that more people don't use this wilderness as it is truly beautiful.
As to my health, I am still doing my best to fight this thing. It isn't easy, but so far the treatment seems to be working if not even too profoundly. All my blood counts are down so we monitor closely and take the necessary precautions and treatments.
The best news is that we really do love our Black Labrador Puppy. She is very well behaved and has learned her manners quite well. She loves the snow and so follows along out on the trails where she covers much more ground than we do. She is a pleasure to be around.

Yes, she holds it

Sammy

I've had some time to read a few books so I have recommendations for some that I really liked. You cannot go wrong with Erik Larson as he is a great writer of non-fiction.

I try to read every night as we find that we sleep much better if we stay up until at least 11 PM. This might seem like an early to bed, but our old routine was more like 9:30.

I'll try to come up with something more interesting next time; for today this will have to do.
Gary, Linda and Sammy

It is very hard to photograph a black dog

Gone Wishing, Instead of Just Fishing

A letter to my family, February 4
Dear Family,
I learned something to make me happy this week about a Saint named Pio. He was The only priest in Catholic history to bear the Stigmata, the five wounds of Jesus crucified. Padre Pio lived in a town named Pietralcina, where he was born with the name Francesco Forgione. On September 7, 1910, while at prayer in Piana Romana, he received the invisible Stigmata. On September 20, 1918, while at prayer in San Giovanne Rotrondo, he received the visible Stigmata. Padre Pio was Canonized a Saint in 2002. You can learn more about him at www.padrepio.com or in a google search. Ralph D'Aloia and Francesco Forgione were both born in 1887 and each lived to be 82 years old.I learned about Padre Pio in a prayer book given to me by a friend who I work with named Theresa, named after St. Theresa of Lisieux. Anyway I was reading some of the prayers in this small book and got to wondering just where in Italy this town was. A quick search and I discovered that Pietralcina was very close to Fragnito Mon Forte, where our Grandparents came from. This is a beautiful area east of Naples in the Provincia de Benevento. It is a Mountainous area and very beautiful. The villages were only about 10 or 12 miles apart and as Padre Pio was close in age to Grandpa and Grandma Deloia, I am convinced that they must have crossed paths a few times on their walks on the country trails.
Interestingly, I also learned that the Shrine to St. Padre Pio in the region of Italy known as Puglia is the second most visited shrine in the world with about seven million pilgrims per year. Linda and I drove near there about 10 years ago, but we did not know about it then. By the way, everything in Italy is beautiful.
I was told to keep tract of some of the positive experiences each day and struck me as the most interesting and comforting of the week. It was a good week anyway and I've been feeling good. The chemo is not so toxic, but it does have some side effects that are a little bothersome. They are usually gone by the Wednesday after the week of therapy. I take a 2 mile walk each day after work and it helps me think a little straighter. Actually my work has been a joy and I feel really my best when I'm there. My coworkers have been so nice to me and I'd like to think that I can stay involved for some time yet.
February 8
Today I took Sammy to work with me as Linda is on a vacation with her friends. The people in my office and some of the patients as well were truly enamored with her immediately. She has developed quite the personality lately. She didn't want to come home with me so I'll have to bring her in again tomorrow. Sammy was fairly quiet until we visited Allison's family and the kids played with her. Now, I no longer have to worry about this dog's drive and ability to learn.  

Minnesota Grapes 2011

We wish there would be some snow. What is the sense of living up here if it isn't winter. Gary

Black Labrador Retriever

mendacium jocosum

It seems that the hardest thing about getting a new dog is to agree on a name. On Saturday morning Linda and I traveled to Ely to see Margo and Al Penke and their litter of puppies. They were of course all very beautiful specimens of the Labrador Retriever so we narrowed it down to Black only. The yellows in the bunch were spectacularly good looking and active so the urge came over me to get two pups, but fortunately we settled on a great little pup that looks you directly in the eye. There are a lot of theories on how to pick a dog but according to James Lamb Free, a great trainer of my dad's era, you might as well shut your eyes and grab one.
Now as we drove home with the new addition we started to discuss a name for this pooch. Linda said that anything I would choose would be OK. So I settled on George. After 10 miles of silence she said "George"? "Why not," I countered. Well, we decided to call our grandsons Tommy and Erik for their opinion. They said they could help out and asked what were the guidelines for a name. I just said it should be an androgynous name. Tommy said "I've got it because in my class we have a boy named Sam and a girl named Sam." So there it is; our new puppy is called Sam or Sammy depending on her behavior.
The truth is that having such a beautiful animal in our house brings a lot of comfort and a certain measure of peace. Dogs must be one of God's finest creations, just look at the pictures of this little future working dog and companion.
Linda and I are doing alright and wishing for a little snow.
I hear the "Call of the Wild". Gary

Kimber and Joel visit Duluth

Kimber and Joel spent a long weekend in Minnesota having visited Allison, Tim and family, then to Cambridge to visit Grandma and Grandpa Laase and then of course to Duluth where they visited Grandma and Grandpa DeLoia before coming out to see us. We went out to dinner the first night, otherwise we ate very well at the kitchen of Linda. We were all feeling good so we went hiking up at Gooseberry State Park because there is not enough snow for snowshoeing. The weather has been still very warm for this time of year. We even watched some football as you might guess.

40 Years of Dental Practice

Tuesday at noon three of us celebrated being in dental practice together for 40 years. I joined Bob Ryan in his office in 1972. We were on Superior Street in those days and Ginny DeRoche Randolph was my first dental assistant. My Sister Betsy recommended Ginny as they worked together at the Target Store which was not in the middle of a mall. Bob and I had gone to school together at the U of M, but we barely knew each other as we had to always do everything in alphabetical order. We found out that we shared birthdays and clothes sizes and even could trade shoes. Mainly we shared a value system about how to treat people and how to do a proper diagnosis and treatment plan. Actually to tell you the truth, Bob had a previous career as a Car salesman and you know that experience has to help in any business. Gen Ryan (Bob's Mom) was our secretary, made the appointments, sent out statements and could even take shorthand. Try that these days. Bob had his assistant and Ginny worked with me from my first day and she and I are to this day very close friends and workmates. Now our office is much larger and we have many more coworkers to interact with and share different tasks, but that same atmosphere of trust and respect still exists. How else could anyone explain such long and wonderful relationships.
As a note, check out the link on the right column about Ginny's son Jake.

I'm feeling good today and especially happy to have Kimber and her close friend Joel come to visit us tomorrow afternoon and for the weekend.
Buon fina settimana, Gary

Telling stories is in my nature

"In order to know who you are, you have to know where you're from". Rebbe Kasovsky, Greater Latvia

For me it is fairly easy to know my own personality because I was lucky enough to know so many relatives as I grew up, and even today I talked to my cousins Craig and Kathy Rafferty. On my Mother's side of the family were Orthodox Jewish Great Grandparents who came to St. Paul in the 1880's probably due to the hostile conditions in Eastern Europe. Their son, Rubin, ran off with my Grandma Lillian, a Protestant  and when they came back from California they had the start of their family, my Aunt Ruth. Rubin's parents were probably not too pleased with his disregard for Jewish protocol, but things worked out very well, as they had a total of 6 daughters who loved them very much. My Mother, Lorraine, is the 4th in line and now 92.

My other grandparents came from Southern Italy to settle in St. Paul about 1915. They lived in a communal  environment called Swede Hollow where my Dad and the rest of the 8 children were born in the home. Obviously my Grandpa was a blue collar worker just like Rick Santorum's but he didn't have "big hands", he just knew how to use them in a productive way. It is from the Italian culture that my life was mostly influenced. Some of it good and some of it less good. They wanted to become American  in every way they could so they worked hard and followed the "rules".  They loved to build, garden, cook, bake, clean, make wine, raise animals and they made things look nice. To them beauty was synonymous with virtue and art. You should do things properly or you'd be considered lazy.

My Grandma, Maria Nazarina Panella D'Aloia

It is my Italian Grandmother that saw to the religious affairs of the family and so it is to her that I owe my Catholic faith. "Sono Catolica Americano". This was passed down to my Dad and my "convert" Mom from Grandma, and for this I am very grateful and proud. I had a very happy and interesting childhood and our Catholic values had a lot to do with our lives then and they still do now.

This act of writing a simple story, arranging memory and thinking about it is for me therapeutic and in my view holy. Today I feel very good and positive thinking goes a long way toward healing.

Your friend, Gary

Gary's Tattoo

Vietnam, 1970-71

Looks like you don't need to get a tattoo afterall Dad. Love, Kimber and Adrianne

Buon Nuovo Anno

Last week I finished my first session of chemotherapy and it didn't seem too bad. I am left with a mild upset stomach and a feeling that I just have too much medicine in me. As in the days when we siphoned gas and swallowed too much by accident. Or when paint fumes got into your system. Really it is not too bad though and I'm better today than yesterday. Now we have to be sure to not catch any germs as my resistance to infections will fall. We are following Kimber's advice and got outside for some exercise each day this weekend. It really feels good and the weather is invigorating. We even went to Target to purchase some walking weights so my arms will stay nice and big. I'm thinking about some tattoos on my biceps just for the athletic charm. Did you see the Vikings?
I visited with my Dad a little today and he said "Tondo benedizioni", which was very appropriate and I say this to all of you taking the time to read this note. Gary

Almost lost snowshoeing near the the river.