Pray, Hope and Don't Worry

Dear Family and Friends,

Pray, Hope and Don't Worry was a quote my Dad cherished and he is now in Heaven.

Thank you for following my Dad's blog over the past year where he expressed his thoughts and greatest passions as he went through his journey to the inevitable. As my brother-in-law Tim put it, he showed us how to battle this terrible disease with grace and dignity- not different than he has led his entire life. He led by example to the very end with his mind as sharp as ever. One of the last and most special days for my Dad and I was writing my Mom's 65th Birthday card together and he presenting her with a beautiful crucifix with hearts to wear as a reminder of his love. He signed it, I love you now and forever.

I have included his obituary to share with all of you.

Dr. Gary Michael DeLoia, age 66, died on Thursday, November 15th, 2012, in Duluth, from complications of leukemia.


A resident of Duluth for most of his life, Gary was raised near Pike Lake by parents Joe and Lorraine DeLoia. He graduated from Proctor High School in 1963, and from the University of Minnesota School of Dentistry in 1969.

Gary was a patriotic person, and joined the United States Army stationed at Fort Hood, Texas, and the Republic of Vietnam. After military service, he established a dental practice in Duluth with Dr. Robert Ryan, and later became an associate at Lake Superior Dental. He practiced dentistry for 42 years and was an advocate for continuing dental education and preventative dentistry. Gary lived with an innate sense of empathy for those less fortunate in his community and in other parts of the world. He had a strong desire for volunteerism, which included dental missions within Vietnam, and later missions in Israel, St. Vincent, and Cambodia.

A parishioner of the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Rosary since 1972, Gary was a member of the Holy Rosary School Board, also serving as chairman for one year. He served on the boards of Port Area Catholic Education, and St. Mary's Hospital. He was also a member of the American Dental Association, the Minnesota Dental Association, and the Northeastern District Dental Society.

Gary had many hobbies, and most were centered around the outdoors. He cherished the times shared with his dogs. He also enjoyed enhancing the natural beauty of his surroundings.

Self-described as a Catholic American father, Gary was most proud of his family, his faith, and his military service. He also took pride in his work, and fully appreciated the many wonderful friendships he made with his patients and coworkers. He was amazed by the outpouring of kindness bestowed upon him throughout his illness, and was immensely appreciative of the care he received from so many exceptional doctors and caregivers. Most of all, he was grateful to have been able to confront his illness in an honest and accepting way with the loving support of his wife, Linda. Together they shared a full and beautiful life.


Gary is survived by his wife of 44 years, Linda (Laase) DeLoia; parents Joseph and Lorraine DeLoia; in-laws John and Myrtle Laase; daughters Allison (Timothy) Johanson and Kimber DeLoia; son Matthew (Jennifer) DeLoia; grandchildren Adelaide, August, Erik, and Tomas Johanson, and Giselle and Glenn DeLoia; brothers Thomas (Gail) DeLoia and Jeffrey (Karen) DeLoia; sisters Halene (Paul) von Wiegandt and Betsy (Steven) Godmare, and his nieces and nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins, and many friends who enriched his life immeasurably.



VISITATION: Sunday, November 18th from 4pm-6pm at Our Lady of the Rosary Catholic Church, 2801 E. 4th St., Duluth

FUNERAL MASS: Monday, November 19th, at 11am at Our Lady of the Rosary Catholic Church

BURIAL: Tuesday, November 20th at 1pm at Fort Snelling National Cemetery, 7601 34th Ave South, Minneapolis

Memorials preferred to Holy Rosary Catholic School, 2802 E. 4th St., Duluth, MN 55812 or Solvay Hospice House, 801 Baylis St., Duluth, MN 55811.

Pallbearers Deliver the Casket for Honors at Fort Snelling

Placing a Lily on the Casket

Family and Friends Share in a Final Goodbye

Presentation of the American Flag on Behalf of a Grateful Nation

Viewing the Burial Site, plot #394, Fort Snelling, Minnesota

A Veteran’s Fall to Remember

I have used this blog as a form of therapy to compliment the wonderful care received throughout my battle with leukemia.  This forum has been my opportunity to share with you and engage in some helpful and distracting mental exercises.  I have been reluctant to describe the progression of my disease in the hope, that one day, it would be reversed and placed in remission.  Unfortunately, my disease is uncommon, brutal, and almost never cured.   

Throughout this Fall, I have been fortuned with sufficient comfort and energy to remain active and engage with friends and family in fairly routine ways.  This included many dinners with Linda and friends, long walks around my home, and hunting trips to North Dakota and Red Lake (Fall Hunting Video with Friends).  It has also included the business of placing things in order for my family.  So many have over-extended themselves to help Linda and me in this difficult time. We could not be luckier.

The grim details of my disease I recently articulated to the Veteran’s Administration.  The association between leukemias and the defoliant Agent Orange is well documented and therefore a seemingly just reason for disability benefits.  In pursuit of these benefits I wrote the following about my disease:  

“I have a diagnosis of chronic myelomonocytic leukemia (CMML), transformed to acute myeloid leukemia (AML) with complications of extramedullary disease.  My treatment included three rounds of chemotherapy that have all failed due to the presence of many soft tissue cancers called granulocytic sarcoma.  These have occurred in my sinus, testes and most significantly, my skin.  My current treatment consists of oral chemotherapy and various radiation techniques to palliate these symptoms of pain, weakness and visual disturbances.

When in Vietnam during 1970-71, my station or area of operation was a firebase in Phuc Long province.  We also went on many occasions to foreground landing zones and villages for volunteer medical/dental missions.  My main position was as the dentist for a medical company in the 1^st Cavalry Division localized near the town of Song Be. This area was one of the most heavily defoliated areas in the country.  Additionally, we were sprayed biweekly with insecticides for mosquito control.  Even so, we were ordered to take anti-malaria prophylaxis with Chloroquine/Primiquine tablets once a week along with Dapsone daily until my physician friends found literature linking Dapsone use to agranulocytosis.  We did continue the Chloroquine/Primiquine tablets all along, in spite of the inevitable diarrhea they caused. 

The list of veterans’ diseases associated with Agent Orange includes things like various leukemias, Hodgkin’s disease, diabetes, prostate cancer and many others.  These are included by way of epidemiology and mathematical statistics to show increased rates, however so tenuous, in Vietnam veterans with Agent Orange exposure.”

I volunteered into the Army in 1969 to do my very best and serve my country.  When assigned to a medical company on a totally defoliated firebase, I went without hesitation and was given many compliments by my superiors, including the Bronze Star for service.  I hope that the VA will approve my claim, which I believe is warranted given the now-known hazards exposed to the U.S. military assigned to the Republic of Vietnam.

This Veteran’s weekend, family and friends surround me.  I thank everyone, and am humbled by those who have traveled great distances to visit with Linda and me.  Kimber is on her way and I will have all my kids with me tonight.  I hope to share with you more in the coming week.  Sincerely and with love, Gary.

With Friends in North Dakota

Friends,
It is very obvious that in order to write an interesting blog you need to be in a good mood or there is a high risk of seeming overly dark. Over the last few months there are times when it is hard to avoid the depression. Linda and I have been extremely lucky to have so many of our family and our friends give us such a measure of caring and support that we feel blessed and positive most all of the time. To be honest we have experienced some low days as well.

For a period of about two weeks we had the company of lots of family including all of my brothers and sisters. Every day was a joy for us all and the gang helped move my mom up to an new apartment (Westwood) near my dad in the Benedictine Health Center. Now she can walk over to visit any time she wants to, which is plenty. I got out of most of the work by going hunting in N.D. with seven  of my best friends including my brother Tom and my son Matt. We had a great time out there in oil country as we saw plenty of birds (which we cooked) and had a nice new motel to stay at. North Dakota is filled with so many wonderful and welcoming people, just like Minnesota. My new puppy, Sammy, enjoyed the experience as well and said she would try it again if weather permits. That means any weather, rain or snow included.

Kimber and Allison both came up to spend a long weekend with us and it was both relaxing and therapeutic for all of us. Kimber helps us to organize our finances and other affairs and Allison helps Linda with some artistic touches for our home. I also need to say that Linda and I celebrated our 44 years of marriage with family all around. We received lots of accolades, at least Linda did, for being an example of a loving family anchored by a solid marriage for so long a time. It is something to be proud of and in all humility we are.
Allison gave us this card made on her iMac.

The Years

Like a beaded bracelet,

You wear your collection of years.

They are what make your lives together, 

Whole and beautiful.

So lovely and strong as one,

We celebrate your shared life.

Years full of countless memories,

To connect us always.

                Allison

 

Grandma's 93rd Birthday

I wanted to post a quick blog with a picture of my Dad, Aunt Betsty, and Grandma on her 93rd Birthday. I was just home a few weeks ago with the whole family. We had such a nice time being together and so special to be home in Duluth. We were able to go fishing and help my Dad train Sammy. I sure do feel fortunate to have such a wonderful family. Love, Kimber

Il Camposanto (secondo)

The Old Oak Tree

Built in 1862

I suppose it seems a little odd to use Italian to describe something so Scandinavian, but the Tuscan vernacular is so appealing. Linda and I have always enjoyed traveling the back roads when we have the time as you often find such beauty and interest off of the beaten path. A couple of weeks ago while on one of our forays into the farm country we found this scene just southeast of Northfield, near the town of Nerstrand. It seemed to be one of the most beautiful and pastoral settings we have ever seen in Minnesota. There are actually two churches faced directly opposing one another and the one pictured was built in 1862 during the Civil War and the U.S.-Dakota war of 1862, which began 150 years ago yesterday. Obviously there were some very ambitious and reverent people living in Southeastern Minnesota at that time in our history.

These discoveries as we travel around bring some measure of peace to us while we deal with all the days of medical care and the inconveniences that can really wear you down. Seeing the lush farmland on the rolling hills of this part of Minnesota along with the occasional spectacular setting can't help but be inspiring for anyone needing a lift. Driving into Duluth and seeing the Big Lake is also very uplifting.

Again,

Gary and Linda

Terra Incognita

Dear Friends,

Whenever we enter into "unknown lands" it is natural to consider this a kind of adventure. It is really quite impossible to know exactly what you will find. The intelligent person does adequate research to increase the chances of success, but we all know too well that there will be many obstacles and delays. Take the example of Sir Ernest Shackelton or Sir Edmund Hillary. Due to their various styles of leadership both were successful in that they made it back alive to tell their stories. More modest adventures abound all around such as canoeing to the Arctic, marathoning or even learning to play Bridge.

Sometimes adventure comes to us without our having asked for it. Whether you join the military or are conscripted the result is the same; you enter a "Land of Dragons" so to say. Personally, I think we all need adventure in our lives, but not to be foolish in the endeavor because we want a long long life as God should desire.

Linda and I did not ask for this trip and we are in it together whatever it takes. Again, we took adequate time to choose our health care facilities carefully. Now we both feel trust and confidence in the direction we are given. So now we try to the best of our abilities to do our part and let God do the rest.

I am very sure both Shackelton and Hillary spoke to Him daily. So does Robin Roberts and so do Gary and Linda DeLoia.
My best, Thank you for reading my blog.
Rochester Methodist Hospital

Summer in Duluth

We had a very nice two weeks in Duluth, warm weather and the grass is green. We returned home to find everything in good order due to the help of some fine friends. We enjoyed visiting many of our friends and catching up on the current events. For me, I was able to work with Sammy many times and she was almost always with me. We even got out fishing and to our surprise we caught some nice lake trout, even though Lake Superior is still kind of muddy from the big storm. Linda learned to mow with the big rider as I was told to stay away from dust, dirt, live plants and machines. Anyway we did it together in a sense. Got to keep the place nice just to stay contented.
Tomorrow we are going to Rochester for some appointments and possibly more treatment. I am feeling good with fairly good energy, but my actions are a little slow. Linda is packing my bag for the trip. I guess she'll come with.

Leaving Rochester

Sammy

Sammy In Training

Gary