How do you know when you love someone?

One of the obvious ways is that you like to be close to that person. You like to do things together and gradually your hobbies and interests commingle For Linda and me it has been easy because we like to do a lot of the same things. Just yesterday we spent time in our yard getting ready for spring and trying to make things nicer around the house. For me it is necessary to call over Linda to inspect and give  her approval for what has just been done or to discuss my next idea which might not be good. This gives us a sense of accomplishment, pleasure and closeness.
We have had some times of separation that certainly did not diminish our love, but it was always apparent that something was missing. The first of these was when my country asked me to go to Vietnam. These deployments were almost always for 12 months or more. This is hard to envision for a young newly married couple. We didn't ask to do this, but it was our duty to comply with the requested assignment.
Well I can tell you that we both felt our bouts of loneliness and there is always present a kind of melancholy. You do your work and live your life with just a little less of something. These pictures show a young man and woman who have not been with their loved one for 10 months or so. One is in Southeast Asia and one is in Minnesota. They love each other. They miss each other. They want to be together.

 How could we expect anything but subdued smiles that demonstrate this couples longing

Mai piu cosi lontano 

Now we face a separation of sorts that we certainly did not ask for. This challenge is far more difficult and unpredictable but our love for one another is strong. Linda will help me through it with the gentle hand of God. We have many friends and family to help us too. My Mother is certain that I'll be OK and she knows because she prays to God every day for sure. She also loves Linda like a daughter and is praying for her welfare too.

Tomorrow or Tuesday I'll be in St. Mary's hospital in Rochester for a while to get more aggressive with the disease. I have every confidence that we are doing the right thing and I too pray for my return to health.

The love of my life is close to me now and gives me encouragement every day. 

At least this time our separation will be only a few blocks or a few miles. But again it is too far.

GARY

St. Simons Island, Georgia

Our gang of travelers just finished a week in a very special house in St. Simons Island. As mentioned in a previous blog we have been doing something together every year for over forty years. This time we took up in a historic home that once was a "carriage house" connected to a larger mansion that has been since moved to Daufuskie Island in South Carolina. This turned out to be perfect as it was a short walk to the beach and a short walk to the village. Most of us were content to do very little, so other than some sightseeing and golf for a few we mostly read, played dominoes and had fabulous meals that we (in my case "they") prepared every day except one where we walked to town for dinner.
Not many midwestern people talk about Georgia as a vacation area, but I can say that these barrier islands are very beautiful and comfortable with nice weather and friendly people. St. Simons is just a seventy mile drive from Jacksonville airport or smaller airports even closer. Anyway, Linda and I are very happy to have gotten away for the week and we enjoyed every minute with our friends and each other.
Happy Birthday to my Aunt Betty who just turned 90.

My Doctor said "eat"

Standing in the Live Oak Trees

Barrier Islands Have Nice Bridges

Sammy

People have been asking about Sammy; how is she doing, is she getting big, etc. Well, she is growing and starting to demonstrate a personality that I think I can count on not to change too much now. Her behavior in the house is excellent, outside might be another story. I use a long lead to keep her in check or she might visit the next County. Actually she is quite well disciplined at almost all times, with the emphasis on "almost". We are both very happy to have this dog as she has been a nice diversion, and even Linda likes being around her a lot. By the way she does retrieve so I'm having that kind of fun too, but behavior is the most important thing at this age. The word is that teaching a Black Lab to retrieve is like teaching a kid to eat ice cream.
Linda and I are heading to St. Simons Island this Saturday to spend the week with some friends that we have been tolerating for about 40 years or longer. We have rented a large house near the beach and we always have a good time. My Dr. gave me the go ahead and so we are taking advantage of a lull in my treatment regimen. Anyway, Tom Dougherty brings enough wine as to be considered a form of treatment in itself. Really, we are quite prudent in our grown up years. Maybe we will overdose on books, dominoes and excellent home cooking.

Sammy at Attention

Gary and Linda

Anniversary Number 70

Linda's parents celebrated today their 70th wedding anniversary in Cambridge, Minnesota. Now that is quite a feat these days. First you have to get married with a promise to be faithful and to stick together through thick and thin, sometimes more thin than thick. I've never known a couple that has done so many things together through out their lives. First there was the few years in California when Huns was in the Navy and Myrt was close by. After the war they moved to Cambridge where they bought the farm and there was now a need to work together to make it all successful. This they did from the farming, gardening, cleaning chickens and other animals for food, the constant cleaning and cooking for a farm family that needed a lot of food for all the expended energy. Believe me, I've seen this family at work and they know to get a lot done in a day. I guess it was necessary in the early days, but they cannot change. First you work and then you play, that is if the time ever allows it.
Now of course Huns and Myrt are retired, yet they stay very active. They take care of themselves for the most part and find time for card playing and even dancing. It's a good thing Great Grandma Thorn didn't find out about this decadence. Huns isn't supposed to drive (Dr's orders) and for the most part he doesn't except when there is some difficult terrain to negotiate, then Myrt will relinquish the wheel to her husband.
I didn't go to the party as crowds can carry an increased risk of catching a cold or something else I don't now need.

 

I did have a long conversation with Myrt the other day, (long by my standards). Her memory is perfect, in fact Myrt can remember things as if they happened yesterday. And she can also get the most subtle humor that older persons often miss. Huns doesn't like to talk on the phone because his hearing isn't too good and so we just talk to Myrt and she relays the thought. I made a point of thanking them for having a daughter that is now my wife of 43 years. They know of course how much I love her and how lately we have to rely on and support one another even more than ever. To deal with a serious illness with out the loving care of someone close must be very difficult. I am thankful for the gift of this terrific person, born in Princeton, MN, the beautiful daughter of Myrtle and John Laase.

Jerry, David, Dale, Linda, Myrt, Huns, Brenda

IN THE MOOD FOR AN UPDATE

Obviously, I have been behind in my posts to this blog and some have been gently nudging me to give at least an update of my medical condition. Some people have to get in the proper mood to do certain things and I am definitely one of these people. This is a nice communication tool, this thing we call a BLOG. Where did that word come from?


A blog (a portmanteau of the term web log)^[1] is a personaljournal published on the World Wide Web consisting of discrete entries ("posts") typically displayed in reverse chronological order so the most recent post appears first. Blogs are usually the work of a single individual, occasionally of a small group, and often are themed on a single subject.


Today I'm feeling good, just working on a tax problem related to my HSA account. I also did some work with Sammy attempting to teach her a few things. My Dad said all dogs are different and this one has a personality that we are still trying to figure out. Tommy and Erik have spent the last two nights with us as we brought them back on our return from Rochester. We will go to Allison's tomorrow and celebrate Easter with her family just for the day. 
As to my condition, my Doctors think we should take a break from the chemotherapy in order for my bone marrow to recover a little. When your marrow is so depressed the risk of infection becomes paramount. This shows that although the therapy is working, there is definitely a need for more treatment when the time is right. For now we are just staying close to home trying to stay healthy. 
We have had so many wonderful gestures of support from both family and friends. These are very meaningful and appreciated by Linda and me immensely . Just by reading this blog you are showing your concern for our family.
Soon another more interesting blog will be posted if the mood comes my way again. It will. Actually I know of at least three English teachers that read this thing and it leaves me a little intimidated. 

We asked for Winter

Dear Friends,
Well the snow finally came to the North Shore community. We have cleared our drive and walks three times in a few days. It appears as if 12 inches came down yesterday and today so we are happy enough.
The snowshoeing has been terrific on our trails and especially on the Sucker River. We are always surprised that more people don't use this wilderness as it is truly beautiful.
As to my health, I am still doing my best to fight this thing. It isn't easy, but so far the treatment seems to be working if not even too profoundly. All my blood counts are down so we monitor closely and take the necessary precautions and treatments.
The best news is that we really do love our Black Labrador Puppy. She is very well behaved and has learned her manners quite well. She loves the snow and so follows along out on the trails where she covers much more ground than we do. She is a pleasure to be around.

Yes, she holds it

Sammy

I've had some time to read a few books so I have recommendations for some that I really liked. You cannot go wrong with Erik Larson as he is a great writer of non-fiction.

I try to read every night as we find that we sleep much better if we stay up until at least 11 PM. This might seem like an early to bed, but our old routine was more like 9:30.

I'll try to come up with something more interesting next time; for today this will have to do.
Gary, Linda and Sammy

It is very hard to photograph a black dog

Gone Wishing, Instead of Just Fishing

A letter to my family, February 4
Dear Family,
I learned something to make me happy this week about a Saint named Pio. He was The only priest in Catholic history to bear the Stigmata, the five wounds of Jesus crucified. Padre Pio lived in a town named Pietralcina, where he was born with the name Francesco Forgione. On September 7, 1910, while at prayer in Piana Romana, he received the invisible Stigmata. On September 20, 1918, while at prayer in San Giovanne Rotrondo, he received the visible Stigmata. Padre Pio was Canonized a Saint in 2002. You can learn more about him at www.padrepio.com or in a google search. Ralph D'Aloia and Francesco Forgione were both born in 1887 and each lived to be 82 years old.I learned about Padre Pio in a prayer book given to me by a friend who I work with named Theresa, named after St. Theresa of Lisieux. Anyway I was reading some of the prayers in this small book and got to wondering just where in Italy this town was. A quick search and I discovered that Pietralcina was very close to Fragnito Mon Forte, where our Grandparents came from. This is a beautiful area east of Naples in the Provincia de Benevento. It is a Mountainous area and very beautiful. The villages were only about 10 or 12 miles apart and as Padre Pio was close in age to Grandpa and Grandma Deloia, I am convinced that they must have crossed paths a few times on their walks on the country trails.
Interestingly, I also learned that the Shrine to St. Padre Pio in the region of Italy known as Puglia is the second most visited shrine in the world with about seven million pilgrims per year. Linda and I drove near there about 10 years ago, but we did not know about it then. By the way, everything in Italy is beautiful.
I was told to keep tract of some of the positive experiences each day and struck me as the most interesting and comforting of the week. It was a good week anyway and I've been feeling good. The chemo is not so toxic, but it does have some side effects that are a little bothersome. They are usually gone by the Wednesday after the week of therapy. I take a 2 mile walk each day after work and it helps me think a little straighter. Actually my work has been a joy and I feel really my best when I'm there. My coworkers have been so nice to me and I'd like to think that I can stay involved for some time yet.
February 8
Today I took Sammy to work with me as Linda is on a vacation with her friends. The people in my office and some of the patients as well were truly enamored with her immediately. She has developed quite the personality lately. She didn't want to come home with me so I'll have to bring her in again tomorrow. Sammy was fairly quiet until we visited Allison's family and the kids played with her. Now, I no longer have to worry about this dog's drive and ability to learn.  

Minnesota Grapes 2011

We wish there would be some snow. What is the sense of living up here if it isn't winter. Gary